Parents want the best for their children: the best schools, the best teachers, even the best athletic coaches. Unfortunately, the structure of many youth sports leagues, prevents parents from selecting their child's coach. Let's begin with a discussion of what makes a poor, average, good and excellent coach.

First, parents often forget these are not paid positions. These are volunteer men and women who are motivated for different reasons to help coach children. Just like any other endeavor, certain people will excel at coaching while others are satisfied to just bring the equipment, throw out the balls, and submit a line-up.

Suppose you are dissatisfied with your child's experience in a particular sport. You must define your source of displeasure. First ask yourself if this is something your child wanted to do. I've coached children using the same techniques, the same drills that greatly improve one child's performance and appreciation of the game, while doing nothing for another player. If the child simply does not enjoy the game but is playing because mom and dad wanted them out of the house, look no further for cause.

Defining a good coach will vary from parent to parent. Some prefer an individual who never raises his voice to the kids and simply lets them play the game without much interference and few practices. Others want a taskmaster who absolutely demands and settles for nothing less than each child's best effort. At least 3-4 days per week are spent either in games and/or in practice. I am convinced that most parents are happy with a mixture of the two extremes: a coach who takes his job seriously, teaching kids skills to the best of his ability without yelling at children and holding a reasonable number of practices, understanding that many families have multiple responsibilities and commitments during any sports season.

Based upon my experience and professional judgment, most coaches are neither extreme, but nor are they the combination of the best traits from both extremes. Most coaches are average to poor. I believe the only time you really need to be that concerned over the quality of your child's coach and demand change is when:

• Your child's safety is in question
  
  
• Your child's coach has a habit of yelling at children for their lack of skill regardless of the coach's other good qualities
  
  

Your child's coach should do the following:

• Hold a pre-season meeting with parents and kids to discuss the upcoming season and distribute practice and game schedules. This attention to detail will give you immediate feedback as to the quality of coaching your child will receive.
  
  
• Communicate on a regular basis throughout the season by a team newsletter. Again, it's the issue of the coach's dedication to keep parents informed on the team's progress, new requirements, or a schedule change. A good or excellent coach does not simply rely on verbal announcements at games or practices.
  
  
• Sincerely listen to all parental concerns, suggestions and comments. Keep in mind that a coach must evaluate each suggestion as to how it affects the entire team and not just one player. He must evaluate the suggestion to make sure it does not undermine his responsibility as the head coach.
  
  
• Practices should be organized so all children are involved in drills or in lines to immediately take part in drills. (This absolutely requires more than one coach, often as many as three to four assistants).
  
  
• Your child should look forward to playing (it's too much to ask kids to look forward to practices) and being on this coach's team.
  
  
• Talk to parents whose children are misbehaving or experiencing problems of some type. A good coach won't just "wish" the problem away.